E053 I You can’t heal what you’re at war with: The emotional side of chronic illness

Have you ever wondered if your body is actually trying to help you—but you’ve been taught to fight it instead?

If you’ve been chasing healing through diets, supplements, and protocols but still feel exhausted, disconnected, and stuck in survival mode, this episode will open your eyes to the missing piece no one’s talking about.

Most women with chronic illness are unknowingly waging an emotional war with their bodies—checking symptoms obsessively, fearing flare-ups, and blaming themselves when nothing works. 

But what if that very fight is keeping your body from healing?

In this episode, I share the deeply personal story of my daughter’s health journey, how we broke free from the cycle of fear and control, and the surprising truth about what your body really needs to feel safe enough to heal.

BY THE TIME YOU FINISH LISTENING TO THIS PODCAST EPISODE, YOU’LL DISCOVER:

• Why your symptoms aren’t random—and what they’re really trying to say
• How your nervous system may be keeping you stuck (even when you’re doing “everything right”)
• The first steps to shift from fighting your body to healing with it

This episode is an invitation to pause, soften, and begin again—with compassion and curiosity. Healing doesn’t start with a protocol. It starts with how you relate to your body.

OTHER LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

🌿 Join our free Facebook group: Embrace Your Healing Journey
📖 Learn more about the Body Wise Healing™ framework
🌟 Check out the Body Wise Reset programme
💌 Write to me at anindita@aninditarungta.com — I’d love to hear from you!

Chapters

• 1:43 Desperation in seeking a solution that actually works
• 4:15 Addressing the emotional layer of illness
• 6:34 Breaking the cycle of living "survival mode"
• 8:31 Building a healthy relationship with your body
• 10:49 Introducing the Body Wise Reset Programme

Transcript

When my daughter's health spiralled, I became a full time researcher, advocate and caregiver all at the same time, and I was determined to fix everything. But I didn't realize the emotional toll that it was taking, not only on her, but on myself. And in today's episode, I'm talking about something that no one talks about, the emotional wars that many of us are waging within our own bodies, and the toll that it's taking on us. And, you know, and it's how it's blocking the very healing that you have been chasing. So stay with me, because this might be the shift that you are looking for. 

Welcome to Embrace Your Healing Journey, a podcast for women with autoimmune and other chronic conditions to help them navigate their illness without fear of isolation and uncertainty, and find relief from their symptoms. Your body is your guide and ally in healing. If you are ready to embrace this journey with compassion and awareness, then this show is for you. Tune in weekly as I, a Functional medicine Certified Health Coach, deliver tips and insights that demystify the healing process, guiding you towards the relief you deserve so that you can feel healthy and happy once more. 

So when my daughter was battling severe health issues more than a decade ago, every day felt like a crisis. I was constantly watching, worrying, researching, managing, googling, questioning myself, and trying to figure out what to do next to help her. And in fact, my nervous system was in overdrive and I felt like I was in a war zone. I didn't realize it then, but I was fighting hard. I was fighting against the illness. Against the uncertainty, uh, against her future. I mean, what it would look like, and sometimes even against her own body. 

And I remember this one incident very clearly because it was so painful. And it just showed how desperate we were. So she had been having these back to back infections, skin infections, which are very common with someone with severe eczema because they constantly scratch themselves. And they are these open wounds and that becomes infected. It's a very common staph infection that keeps recurring. And, uh, this was before I had figured out a more long term solution. 

She was put on multiple rounds of antibiotics, and she was not yet she was only six years old. And, I knew the toll that these antibiotics were taking on her body, but we had no choice because this infection was just not going away. And I remember that. I, you know, I spoke to my doctors, uh, dermatologists. And they said that one of the things that might help to get this infection finally under control, because they couldn't give her another one more round of antibiotics, was to add a little bit of chlorine. The bleaching agent, the bleach that you use in your laundry cleaning products in a bath of water and ask her to sit in it. It was one of the most painful things that you can ask your child to do, especially when they have open wounds. 

 I was so desperate as a mother to get her infection under control, that I forced her to sit in that bath of water, and she screamed with pain. Uh, she was there maybe just a couple of minutes, and it helped to some extent, but I'm not really sure. But it was such a painful incident for both of us, you know. And then so this is what it was, and that we were literally fighting against her body and trying to get things back under control. And it was not really working. And in fact, this particular incident led me to find essential oils as a long term solution, a gentle solution where you dilute therapeutic grade, pure 100% essential oils in a carrier oil like coconut or some other carrier oil. I use coconut oil for her and that that was when she never had an infection again. That's it. That was the solution actually. But till then we were fighting and figuring out. 

So this constant battle wasn't really helping or get well. And it was only that when I, when I, you know, found another way that I'm going to talk about today when I dealt with the emotional toll that that's when we actually started making progress. Because the stress, the fear, the pressure, they were actually keeping us stuck. So what if and stay with me here, the same thing is happening to you. Today I'm sharing about the emotional layer. This is the additional layer that we don't really address of chronic illness, that we don't talk about enough, and why peace and not perfection is the starting point for true healing. So you may wake up tired even after a full night's sleep, and your energy levels are never quite enough to get through to your daily chores or your joints ache.

 Your muscles are stiff, heavy and, uh, sore for no, no reason, actually. And some days it might feel that your brain is wrapped in a fog and you can't find the words. You walk into a room and you forget what you're looking for. And you ask yourself, is this just me or your guts or mess? Bloating, constipation, diarrhea, or maybe even a combination of all three and even healthy foods seem to be a problem nowadays, and your skin acts up without warning. So maybe it's eczema, rashes, hives, or breakouts that have no real trigger or and no cream that can soothe them. And you feel anxious, but not in the way that people, you know, uh, talk about. It's like this constant buzzing under your skin that you can, you know, never get rid of. You've been diagnosed with autoimmune conditions. Maybe. Maybe it's Hashimoto's lupus, rheumatoid arthritis or even psoriasis. 

Or maybe your labs look normal, but your body tells a different story. And the worst part? You've really tried to do everything right. You've done the protocols, taken the supplements, followed the diet, eliminated the foods, and still you don't feel like yourself. Here's the part that no one's talking about, especially not in a typical doctor's office. 

Most women I work with come to come to me thinking the symptoms are random, whether it's hormone stress, genes, you know, just maybe bad luck. But after years of coaching as a functional medicine practitioner and health coach and caregiving, I can tell you this your symptoms are not the problem. They are the language your body uses to tell you what's wrong and what's the real issue here. Your body does not feel safe, not emotionally, not physically and not energetically. And when the body does not feel safe, it can't rest, digest, detox or repair or heal. And it holds inflammation. It burns through energy and it stays stuck in survival mode. And this is the key that this this survival mode, this crisis mode that your body is constantly stuck in. It will not help you see results even when you're doing all the right things. 

Any guesses? What is keeping you in that loop? Stuck in that loop? Constant symptom checking. Harsh self-talk. Fear based protocols. The pressure to be perfect and never giving yourself permission to just be. Does this sound familiar? You see, this is not about the supplements that you're missing out on. It's not about the. It's actually about the relationship that you have with your body. It's about the story that you're telling yourself, about what it means to be sick, and how much emotional energy you are actually spending to just say that you are okay. If you are anything like the women I work with, you've already tried a lot. You've done the elimination diets, the food sensitivity tests, the supplements you've tried, yoga, switching to non-toxic beauty products, the green smoothies. 

Maybe you've even tried functional medicine but still end up feeling overwhelmed. Functional medicine is about finding and addressing the root cause of disease. And you've you've done parts of that. You've tracked every symptom. You've researched every flare up. You've probably got a cabinet full of half filled supplement bottles. You've journal, meditated, cut out gluten, dairy, sugar, and maybe even joy along with it. You've convinced yourself that you could just find that missing piece. Everything would finally fall into place. But here's the truth it's not your fault.

 Most of what you've tried you've been trying was just aimed at fixing the surface, the superficial, not healing what's really underneath. It's like trying to silence a fire alarm Without really figuring out the source of that fire, because your body is not confused, it is communicating and everything you've tried to control it may have unintentionally deepened that disconnection with your body. So what you actually need is not another protocol. It's a new relationship, a healthier relationship with your body. One that makes your body feel safe. 

So if you remember, that's what I said. Your body doesn't feel safe. And your if your body doesn't feel safe, it won't be able to repair and heal itself. This is actually what helped my client get back to work. When she came to me, she had multiple health issues. She had also eczema and she was not able to go to work or take a bath. But when she worked with me for a while, when she did, you know, a lot of the things that I'm talking about, she actually developed a new, healthy relationship with her body. She was able to do the right things. She was able to do the things that actually mattered to her. And when she did that, her body started to heal and she went back to work within three months. I mean, it was a few weeks. She started taking a bath, her symptoms started improving, and then she was at work after that. 

So if controlling, fixing and trying hasn't worked, what do you do instead? You slow down, you listen. You rebuild trust with your body, one small step at a time. You know, I know it sounds simple. Maybe too simple, but, you know, you're so used to doing all the work, the hustle and more research to do more. But healing is not about doing one more thing. It's about doing the right thing. And that begins by reconnecting with your body's signals, with your body's messages, not pushing through them, not ignoring them, not avoiding them, not judging them, just noticing them with compassion and curiosity. 

So here's what it will look like in real life. Instead of asking what's wrong with me, ask yourself, what's my body trying to say to me right now? Instead of jumping into the next protocol, try gently observing how the foods that you are eating, how your body is responding to rest, to stress, and to certain foods. And instead of feeling like you have to get it all right, try treating yourself with more compassion and just committing to 1 or 2 things. This is, in fact, at the core of what I teach in the Body Wise Reset program. 

It's a 12 week guided program and I'm going to talk about it. Towards the end. You will learn how to create safety in your body, simplify your wellness approach, and finally build routines that support your healing instead of draining you further. Because this is not about giving up control, it's about giving up the illusion that the control is the only way. So when you stop fighting your body, you make space for something so much more powerful cooperation, trust and healing. And once again, once you stop fighting your body, once you stop trying to outsmart it out, supplement it and out discipline it. Everything changes. 

You begin to feel a sense of peace in your own skin. Finally, maybe for the first time in years, you stop waking up with dread and starts trusting your body again. Not because everything is perfect and everything is under control, but because you're no longer afraid of every sensation you notice. Your symptoms are less loud, not because you silence them this time, but because they no longer have to scream to get your attention and you realize you are not at the mercy of your body. You are in partnership with it, and that's what it should be. This this work doesn't just lead to better labs. It leads to a better life, more clarity, more capacity, more confidence in yourself and your choices. 

And most importantly, relief. Relief from the pressure, the guessing, the shame. Relief from the exhausting need to fix everything all the time. Because when you finally understand what your body is saying, you stop chasing healing and you start living it. So I hope this episode has helped you to shift your belief, your approach, and if you finally realize that the fight you have been with your body is the very thing holding your holding you back, then it's time. 

It's time to stop doing this alone. It's time to stop chasing every protocol that leaves you more confused than before. And it's time to finally create a relationship with your body that feels safe, intuitive, and supportive. And that's exactly what we do inside the BODY WISE RESET. This is not another course or a checklist. It's actually a guided 12 week journey for women to rebuild trust with your body, simplify your wellness, and start healing in a way that works for you. 

So you'll get a personalized roadmap. So there's no one size fits all approach here. You'll get support from me and a community of women who actually get it, and the simple, doable practices that bring your body back into balance without burning you out. So if you're ready to stop fighting and start healing. DM me with the word reset on Instagram at @aninditarungta, or click on the link in the show notes below to join now! 

And you don't need to be perfect for this, you just need to get started. Healing is not about fixing yourself, it's about coming back home to yourself. I can't wait to walk that path with you. Until next time, take a deep breath. This is. And in here, you're doing better than you think. Your body needs your help. Are you ready to support it?