E038 I Burnt out? Gentle goals are the game-changer you didn’t know you needed

What if the way you’ve been setting your goals is the reason they’re failing?

Most women believe that big, ambitious goals are the key to success, but for those managing chronic health challenges, they often lead to frustration and burnout.

In this episode, we’re breaking down the lie of “go big or go home” and uncovering why Gentle Goals™—small, intentional steps designed to work with your body, not against it—are the real game-changer for lasting wellness.

BY THE TIME YOU FINISH LISTENING TO THIS PODCAST EPISODE, YOU'LL DISCOVER:

• Why traditional goal-setting is setting you up for failure.
• How Gentle Goals can rebuild trust with your body and reduce stress.
• Five simple ways to start implementing Gentle Goals™ today for sustainable healing.

Your body knows how to heal—are you ready to support it? Start your journey with one gentle step today.

If this resonates with you, don’t wait to take the first step toward a simpler, more sustainable path to wellness.

Join me for the Gentle Goals, Big Wins Challenge starting January 13, 2025.

In just five days, you’ll learn how to create goals that honor your body, support your healing, and set you up for lasting success—all without overwhelm.

And here’s the best part: when you join, you’ll get access to my Gentle Goals Playbook—a powerful resource to guide you through the process, plus an exclusive opportunity to work with me in a Mini Virtual Intensive to take your transformation even further.

This isn’t just another wellness challenge. This is your chance to simplify your journey and amplify your life.

CLICK HERE to sign up now and take the first step toward a vibrant, empowered 2025. I’ll see you there!

OTHER LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• Join our free Facebook group: Embrace Your Healing Journey.
• Check out the book Atomic Habits by James Clear.

Write to me at anindita@aninditarungta.com. I’d love to hear from you!

Chapters

• 0:06 The biggest reason most women fail at their New Year’s wellness goals
• 0:48 The problem isn’t you
• 1:09 The answer: Gentle Goals
• 4:51 Wellness has become unnecessarily complex and overwhelming
• 9:02 The impact created by a change in your habits is....
• 10:01 Success is the product of daily habits
• 10:45 Why Gentle Goals can be so transformative!
• 11:29 When you’ve tried everything but nothing seems to stick
• 12:46 When your body is stuck in a state of imbalance and overwhelm
• 14:36 The real problem isn’t your effort, it's the approach
• 17:35 The answer isn’t to work harder or pile on more—it’s to simplify
• 17:48 Stop trying to fix everything at once
• 18:15 5 ways to embrace Gentle Goals
• 21:43 When you embrace Gentle Goals, you’re not just managing symptoms
• 23:35 Sign up for Gentle Goals, Big Wins Challenge (Jan 2025)

Transcript

What if I told you that the biggest reason most women fail at their New Year's wellness goals isn't lack of motivation, but the way those goals are designed in the first place.

Welcome to Embrace Your Healing Journey, the podcast where we challenge outdated wellness norms, simplify your path to health, and amplify your life. I am your host, an editor, a functional medicine certified health coach and today we are actually talking about a massive lie that's been holding you back. The idea that you need big goals to see big results.

Here's the truth. Big goals don't work for women with chronic health challenges, right? So if you're dealing with any kind of health issues, they are often the fastest way to burn out frustration and feeling like your failed. Again, the problem isn't you. The problem is the approach. And this is true even if you don't have any major health issues currently. Even if you are not dealing with health issues, the way you have been setting your goals may be actually what's been holding you back or leading to more frustration and feeling like a failure.

 So what's the answer? The opposite of what you've been taught. Gentle goals. These are small, intentional steps designed to align with your energy, right? Your energy keeps changing all the time. They support your body's healing process and they create momentum without adding to your stress level. So they are all about working with your body and not against it. And so they are able to deliver results that are sustainable and transformational. So here's the part that no one really talks about.

Gentle goals don't just help you to achieve success. They redefine it. They rebuild trust between you and your body, and they actually show you that wellness is not so much about climbing a mountain overnight or running a marathon, but it's about taking that one simple, meaningful step at a time. Because when you do that, when you're able to take that step and you're able to take one more step the next day, you don't just improve your health, you change your relationship with yourself and everything around you. And this episode is all about that.

So I'm breaking down why gentle goals are a game changer, and how you can use the simple model that I have created. And today I will be sharing a bit about that. And in the future episodes, I'll be sharing more and more about this model and how you can start creating sustainable habits today, and how you can join me in January for my Gentle goals big Wins challenge to kick off your year with ease and impact. So let's get started! Your transformation begins with one gentle step and that's all coming up next right here on Embrace Your Healing Journey.

Welcome to Embrace Your Healing Journey, a podcast for women with autoimmune and other chronic conditions to help them navigate the illness without fear of isolation and uncertainty, and find relief from the symptoms you. The body is your guide and ally in healing. If you're ready to embrace this journey with compassion and awareness, then the show is for you. Tune in weekly as I, a Functional medicine certified health coach, deliver tips and insights that demystify the healing process, guiding you towards the relief you deserve so that you can feel healthy and happy once more.

So I remember reading this book, Atomic Habits by James Clear in 2019 for the first time. And yes, there are. These are books which I really treasure, and I do go back to them from time to time. I have notes that I highlight on my Kindle. I usually end up reading on my Kindle, and this was a couple of years after I had completed my functional Medicine coaching training from FMC, and I had been introduced to the power of changing our habits and the impact that they had on our daily lives and how they moved us in the direction, you know, that we really wanted to move towards the results that we wanted to see in our lives. And it completely blew my mind for one reason, because I feel that moment I had not been really aware. The influence that our daily habits have, or the power of setting these small goals which and how to set goals in the first place. These are not subjects or topics that are actually taught in schools or colleges. And I want to change that because this can completely change your health outcomes for the better or for much worse, because you're not even aware of how it's affecting your life.

So either you are doing and setting goals and reaching them, or you are not, and it's really affecting your life one way or another. And I feel it's a shame, you know, that we are not taught all this because there's so much that we could have achieved so much pain that we could have avoided. And I also feel that Venice has become unnecessarily complex and overwhelming, and it's making people lose sight of what truly matters. The reason that you most likely want to be healthy is to not only reverse your symptoms and have less pain in your life, but it also is to live a vibrant and fulfilling life where at the end of, you know, the end of 60, 70, 80, 90 years, you know that you've truly lived a good life and the current approach to health and wellness, I find that sticking to the rigid routines and endless rules that drain joy from daily living. Because what we have become obsessed with, unfortunately, is with quick fixes and one size fits all solution. So true healing has become a lost art, and we have become conditioned to ignore our body's innate wisdom.

So with this episode, I want to invite you to join this movement of inner healers so that you can adopt a simple, intuitive path to reconnect with your body's wisdom. So it's because it's not about just feeling better. It's about becoming the most vibrant version of yourself. And by taking these small but intentional steps that I'm going to talk about today that I call gentle goals, you know, these steps that align with your energy, that support your healing, and that create momentum without additional stress. This is what can become truly transformational. That means it can really change your life as it has done for my clients. And you see. Starting small doesn't mean settling for less. It means creating the foundation for sustainable and meaningful change. And this is something that I am living proof that this is possible since I've been doing this for, uh, for the last decade or so. My clients see those results.

And in fact, just today, I was out for lunch with my husband for anniversary lunch. We've completed 22 years, this year. And I was sharing with him the goals that I have set for myself. But actually it boils down to two different areas of my life, which is health and wealth. So I've set these goals. And the way that I do that, and the way that it does not feel overwhelming, is to break it down into smaller goals and, you know, smaller and smaller. And I've been doing this for a while. So you set quarterly goals, then you said monthly goals, then you said weekly, then you said daily. And that is something that I have learned is actually achievable and not overwhelming. So you end up you may not reach your goal at every point in time, but this is something this is something you know that you learn how to do, and you definitely get better and better at it.

So with this upcoming challenge in January,  gentle goals, big wins, or even with the series of episodes podcast episodes that I'm doing, it will give you a taste of what it is to really be able to do this right, starting with this episode. So let's go back to the book Atomic Habits by the author James Clear. And as he says in his book,

Unfortunately, the slow pace of transformation makes it easy to let a bad habit slide. If you eat an unhealthy meal today, the scale doesn't move much. If you work late and ignore your family, they will forgive you. If you procrastinate and put your project off until tomorrow, they will usually be time to finish it later. A single decision is easy to dismiss.

But when we repeat 1% errors day after day by replicating poor decisions, duplicating tiny mistakes, and rationalizing little excuses, our small choices compound into toxic results. It's the accumulation of many mistakes, missteps, a one person decline here and there that eventually leads to a problem.

The impact created by a change in your habits is similar to the effect of shifting the route of an aeroplane by just a few degrees. Imagine you're flying from Los Angeles to New York City. If a pilot leaving from Los Angeles Airport at just a heading just 3.5 degrees south, you will land in Washington, DC instead of New York. Such a small change is barely noticeable at takeoff. The nose of the airplane moves just a few feet, but when magnified across the entire United States, you end up hundreds of miles apart. Similarly, a slight change in daily habits can lead your guide your life to a very different destination.

Making a choice that is 1% better or 1% worse seems insignificant in the moment. But over the span of moments that make up a lifetime, these choices determine the difference between who you are and who you could be.
 
Success is the product of daily habits, not once in a lifetime. Transformations. That said, it doesn't matter how successful or unsuccessful you are right now. What matters is whether your habits are putting you on the path towards success. You should be far more concerned with your current trajectory than with your current results.
 
Isn't that an amazing insight into the power of setting goals? The power of creating daily habits that serve you. Because, as James Clear says, success is the product of daily habits. Not once in a lifetime transformations. And this is why, exactly the reason why gentle goals can be so transformative.

Because Gentle Goals is all about setting daily habits that serve you, that serve the goal that you're setting for yourself, that that moves you towards the life that you have always dreamed of. And I don't want you to put it off even for one second longer. So gentle goals are about starting small with intention. They are not scaled down versions of traditional goals. They are a completely new approach to healing.

So let me give you a few examples. If fatigue is your biggest challenge, a gentle goal could be a five minute stretch instead of a 30 minute workout. Or if brain fog makes meal planning hard. It's not about prepping 20 meals, it's about focusing on one nutrient rich choice each day. So you've likely tried out different workout plans or diets, but that may have made you, you know, left you feeling worse instead of better. And you also might be feeling exhausted no matter how much you are struggling to clear things clearly through a fog, you know that never seems to go off right? Or by pain or discomfort that seems to just come and go. And it may also feel that your body is working against you. And because you've tried everything, you've tried diets, routines, and you've also followed advice from all corners, nothing seems to stick and it's left you feeling frustrated, stuck, and wondering if real change is even possible for you.

 So what happens is that every time you set a big goal and you can't follow through. It feels like another failure weighing on your shoulders. And you may have also been asked to push through. So no matter what challenges you have faced, you have been asked to push through by experts who don't seem to understand what it is like to face daily battles with your body.

So this is particularly true if you are already dealing with current health issues. And I want you to know that you are not alone and it's not your fault. This is exactly where gentle goals can make all the difference, because it's really not about a lack of willpower or discipline. It's just that your body is stuck in a state of imbalance and overwhelm, so it's not helping you to follow the same rules that other people follow. It's not personalized enough for you.

I don't want you to beat yourself up. I don't want you to criticize yourself. That's not going to really help you, right? It's not your fault. You are not a failure. It's just that you've been following the wrong approach. So chronic stress, inflammation, and misaligned healing strategies that have disrupted your body's natural rhythm. Natural systems. You know that this makes it hard to recover and thrive. So, for example, traditional plans which focus on pushing harder, it ignores the signals that your body sends, right. And this can actually create a cycle of overexertion and burnout. This is very common.

I mean I have clients who have multiple autoimmune conditions. And then, you know, they try and do workouts and they feel really bad after that. So I have to tell them that, you need to slow down, especially if you're going through a flare up and you need to focus on a small, you know, small stretches, maybe just walking, maybe some gentle exercises like tai chi or yoga, then gut health, poor gut health, food sensitivities or chronic stress can lead to inflammation.

So these are all things that are a reality for you. And sometimes even wellness trends that promote an all or nothing approach. Like, it's either you do this, uh, lift weights, you know, or you don't do anything at all. There is a middle path. So it's all of these failed attempts. They might chip away at your confidence and hope. And it creates a mindset that I find is often very disempowering, that healing may not be possible for you. And I want you to know that the real problem is not your effort. It's the system you've been trying to follow.

 I want you to pause for a moment here and show some kindness towards yourself, because you need to understand that you need to move from this one size fits all approach to a more personalized and compassionate path that works with your body, not against it. And this is where gentle goals can come in, and it can provide a sustainable way to way to heal and regain control of your wellness or healing journey. This is what you may have already tried. You follow strict meal plans, exercise routines, or detox programs, and you've only felt worse and you've felt too exhausted. And the reason is that these plants ignore your body's energy levels and healing requirements so they actually leave you feeling depleted rather than empowered.

So the same client that I talked about who was struggling with multiple autoimmune health issues, she had actually tried the paleo diet and it failed. You know, it left her feeling more drained and more exhausted. So when she started working with me, I put her back on some amount of grains, you know, and completely creating a diet from the bottom up based on her body's unique requirements.

So you may have also also tried the latest supplements, superfoods and some other regimens, but they have not really worked for you. And the reason is they are not really tailored to your body or your chronic condition, and they actually end up overwhelming you instead of simplifying your journey. And you may have also said, uh, you know, big, ambitious goals like lose, uh, ten kilos in a month or run five kilometers or walk five kilometers. And they felt unmanageable. So these kind of goals can often create a cycle of failure and self-doubt. So we need to understand where you are coming from, what is your unique situation and your body's unique requirements, and then work with that.

So just following traditional advice like just lose weight, manage your stress, push through the pain, they don't really address the root of your symptoms. This is where you know the generalized approach. They've completely dismissed the complexity of your condition and they don't really honor your, you know, lived experience and what you are going through, what your body is going through. So all the hours that you may have spent researching, planning and trying to do all the right things together simultaneously, whether it's meal preparation, yoga, meditation, journaling, exercising, weights, they may actually have left you feeling stuck by the by the sheer volume of all, you know, all that you need to do. Like the, like the 20 things that you need to do.

And the reason it doesn't work is because trying to do everything at once again leads to overwhelm and inconsistency. And you have to be consistent. It's, as I mentioned, the power of these daily habits which is the reason why you need to set gentle goals. Again, it's the problem is not really you. It's a system you've been using. And the answer isn't to work harder or pile on more on your plate. It's actually to simplify everything.

So what can you do?

So the first and the most important step that you can take is to stop trying to fix everything at once. It's letting go of the idea that you need to change your entire life to see results. The truth is, sustainable healing doesn't come from doing more. It comes from doing less, but doing it with intention. So you need to know what exactly are doing and why you are doing it.

The second step is to embrace gentle goals. And I want to share with you five ways that you can get started today and what you know. And I'm going to be, as I said, elaborating on this. And there is also an online challenge gentle goals, big wins coming up in January. Make sure that you sign up for that. I've put the link in the show notes below.

 So the five ways that you can get started is

number one, start small and build trust with your body. So that means that you need to set manageable goals that fit your current energy levels and symptoms. And if you don't have any symptoms, if you don't have any health issues, even then this works for you. So for example, you can replace I'll exercise for 30 minutes every day if it's not really manageable right now by saying I'll do five minutes of stretching when I wake up. So that's number one.

Number two is focus on one key area at a time. So choose one aspect of your wellness, whether it's energy, whether it's nutrition, whether it's rest, and create a goal that aligns with it. For example, if your diet and changing eating changes in your diet feels overwhelming because you know you need to make a lot of changes, maybe you can just aim to add one nutrient rich food to your meals each each day. So one thing. So maybe you just add leafy greens to your meals each day. That's it. That's that's what you need to focus on right now. So that's how you set gentle goals.

Number three prioritize progress over perfection. This is a very, very important one because this is a, you know, a mistake that many women make because I want to give you permission to release the pressure to get it right. All right. All of the time.  This is a mistake that we make and that often keeps us stuck. It's not so much about perfection as it is about progress. So small, consistent steps leads to big changes over time. And I think the most simplest way to do this is instead of giving up when you miss a goal. So if you had decided that you will do five minutes of stretching each day and you missed one day, you just adjust it to fit your reality that day. And maybe you take a 15 minute walk that day, right? It didn't work in the morning. Maybe you do a walk after dinner, but instead of giving up, you figured out what else you can do or you can get back to it the next day.

Number four is listen to your body's wisdom. This is by far the most important thing that you will do, uh, because by tuning into your body and adjusting your goals as needed, you will make, uh, your wellness journey sustainable. That's what you want, and it will change your life. So, you know, because healing is not linear. and in this case flexibility is your super power. So for example, if your body is feeling tired today, so do not then go in for the intense cardio workout. Replace the active goal with a restorative one, like stretching, like yoga, right? So you can do many different things. This is something that I do a lot. I mean, when I am feeling tired, instead of doing intense workout that day, I tend to then do something which is more gentle.

And number five, which I know I don't do enough of, is celebrate small wins. So acknowledge every step forward, no matter how small it seems. It builds confidence and it helps to keep you motivated. Right? This is what you want to do. You want to keep going. So if you prepared one healthy meal this week, if you had one healthy meal, celebrate that as a success. Because when you embrace gentle goals, you are not just managing symptoms, you are transforming your relationship with yourself and your body, which is why it is so transformative, so life changing. So you end up feeling less overwhelmed, more in control and confident in your ability to create lasting change. So it's not about fixing everything at once. It's about creating a unique journey that is compassionate, intentional, and yours. And the thing is, what we don't realize.

What you may not realize is your body is constantly speaking to you, but the traditional approach teaches you to completely ignore it, and this disconnect is preventing you from making real progress. So by setting these goals that I just took you through by, which helps you to honor your body, you create a foundation for sustainable healing. So it's about actually not doing less. It's about doing things that matter most. So you when you chase big, unrealistic plans, you can often stay stuck in a cycle of burnout and self-doubt. But when you start small, you build trust with your body. And that may be the most important thing that you take away from this episode today. Because you need to start, start to see progress, that you stay on track. And it's not just about how you feel, but in how you live.

So this is your chance to stop surviving and start thriving and gentle. Goals aren't just a strategy. They are a way to simplify your wellness and amplify your life. And the best part is I'll show you exactly how to make it happen in my upcoming Gentle Goals Big Wins challenge. Because what I want you to know is this healing doesn't have to be overwhelming or complicated. It can start with one gentle step, and if you are ready, we can do this together.

So if this episode resonates with you, don't wait to take the first step towards a simpler and more sustainable path to wellness.

 Join me for the Gentle Goals Big Wins challenge starting in January 2025 and in just five days, you will learn how to create goals that support your body. Uh, honor your body, support your healing, and set you up for sustainable wellness. And here's the best part when you join, you will get access to my Gentle Goals playbook. It's a really powerful resource to guide you through this entire process. Plus, you also have an exclusive opportunity to work with meaning in a mini virtual intensive to make your transformation. To take your transformation even further, to cement what you learn in this challenge. And it's not just another wellness challenge. 

This is your chance to simplify your journey and amplify your life. So go to the link in the show notes below, and I hope that you take the first step towards a more vibrant and empowered 2025. I will see you there. 

Thank you so much for joining me today for this episode of Embrace Your Healing Journey. And in the next episode, we will dive into the art of setting sustainable wellness goals, a very simple but powerful way to align your energy, rest, and nutrition. 

So if you've ever felt overwhelmed to trying to balance all of it, I'll get into the specifics on how to simplify your wellness journey and create these goals. Um, and take action. This episode was kind of an introduction. The next episode will take it much further, so don't miss out on that. And, get ready to embrace a fresh, intuitive approach that works with your body and not against it. So stay tuned. You don't want to miss it. 

Your body knows how to heal. Are you ready to support it?